I completely hear you on this one! I am starting to really become fond of the PICC. I had a completely pain free blood draw today. Even with the IV's they used to place near my wrist, I always had some pain and discomfort while getting or giving anything from it. Today, there was no pain! Yay, for no pain!
I can tell you I'm having some of the same reluctance about going off of this poison. It seems to be working so well. I didn't realize how bad I felt before. Feeling bad was my normalcy...and I was totally unaware. I don't even know at what point it got that way. I can't remember the last time I walked up ONE flight of steps without needing a few minutes to recover. I would get completely winded. A couple days ago I noticed that I went upstairs and my breathing didn't change at all. I could talk normally when I got to the top of stairs. No huffing and puffing. It was an AMAZING feeling!
I still have about 2 weeks left on this drug...BUT what happens then? What if I decline quickly again. I often find my mind floating to thoughts of "what-if". I guess life is full of "what-if's". It's just such an uncomfortable place to be. I give my self a little bit of time to feel that fear, then I move back to the present. Today, I feel great! Today, I can play with my kids! Today, I can work! What a gift life is...not to be taken for granted.
I'm a little jealous of the quiet time that you take for yourself while infusing your IV's. Things just never seem to slow down here. I am trying to continue working full-time, then there are the kids to think about. This morning I woke up at 7am and went grocery shopping before the work day started, all while infusing my IV's. I kid you not, I unhooked myself and did the saline and heparin in the frozen food isle. I must have looked like a freak, but you gotta do what you gotta do!
Here's my new baby...
This is my new comfort shirt. Piper got her new lungs a few weeks ago. While waiting she had these shirts made. This reminds me that I can get through the tough times. It reminds me of all of the CFers who have had it tougher than us. If they can do it, so can we!